PaanLuel Wël Media Ltd – South Sudan

"We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, with so little, for so long, we are now qualified to do anything, with nothing" By Konstantin Josef Jireček, a Czech historian, diplomat and slavist.

Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King and Salva Kiir in the same League?

4 min read

While perusing the Kenyan Standardmedia.co.ke, looking for any news item about the highly-awaited ICC verdict on the kenyan “Ocampo Six” which is due today, 1.30pm East African time, I came across this interesting observation about president Kiir’s heroism in relation to Mandela and Martin Luther King Jr. It is really interesting because I bet no one in South Sudan would have ever thought about it, let alone making a comparison.

Bitok said: “Their heroism would not be equated to that of Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King or Salva Kiir…”

So our own president Kiir is in the league of wakina Nelson Mandela and MLK? Who would have thought of that in Juba? Maybe Jesus, son of Mary, was after all right that a prophet is never recognized in his own homeland!!

After all, it was under Mandela that South Africans achieved their liberation, under MLK that African American regained their civil rights liberties and human dignities, and under Salva Kiir that South Sudanese realized their freedom.

It is not a far-fetched argument, is it? let me know what your take is.

But wait a minute……

If you contend that South Sudan, under president Kiir, is going down the drainage, and hence, consider it an insult to compare banydit Kiir Mayaardit to the two acclaimed gentlemen…Tata Madiba and MLK…then I have this other piece of juicy news to brighten up your day.

It is from one (son of a bitch) Ted Malanda, and it is a great piece of reading:

This is about men who jerk up on Friday afternoon, scrawl through their phones and, out of the blues, call a guy they went with to high school.

“You are a very stupid fellow,” one begins.

“Excuse me, who are you?” a flustered fellow on the opposite end of the line asks.

“This is John Wepukhulu, the one and only senior ‘top layer’ consultant from the class of 86,” the caller says.

The other man breaks into loud laughter and, pausing for breath, gasps, “You beast! You are the most useless fellow on earth, the ugliest thing I have ever seen!”

Don’t you find it odd how men only bond through insults? If a woman called a long lost friend and said, “You are the ugliest thing I have ever seen,” those two would not be on talking terms for the rest of their pretty lives.

Bonding

But for men, insults are a fantastic way of expressing love. They are not wired to say sissy stuff like ‘I have missed you’. More curious is that such insults always lead them to the nearest bar for bonding, an exercise that men can only achieve by engaging in robust discussions about not plots but the fairer sex.

Meanwhile, the drinks fall by the dozen as the two pals go down memory lane, rethinking old school punishments, long forgotten girlfriends and mischief. One thing that is never in doubt after the sixth beer is that they, meaning the two drunks, were always far more brilliant than their Standard Two classmate who became the Chief Justice.

Old goat

Way after midnight, the two old friends part ways. On Monday morning, one of them calls the other.

“Speak, you ugly old goat!” the ‘handsome one’ begins.

“But I cannot speak, you ugly bull!” comes the answer.

“Even you? You cannot speak?” asks the bull.

“I tell you, I did not leave my house. The whole weekend, I lay in state on my sofa. That hangover… wacha tu! We drunk bwana. Wah! We drunk! Madam is not even talking to me,” goes the old goat.

Yet you know what is agreed upon by unanimous decision? They must “do this again!”

And they do this again and again on the occasional Friday, leaving them sprawled on the sofa like satiated crocodiles the entire weekend, lying in state.

Meanwhile, their wives keep walking up and down, wishing the laggards would stand up and go out like ‘other men’!

You can read the entire piece here.

PaanLuel Wel.

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