Seventy-Nine Things I Have Learned from RSS Lootership
9 min read“Lie. When caught, lie again. When caught in the lie about the lie, keep lying and never stop.”
These are my observations.Though not exhaustive, they are reflective of some of the realities of our Lootership. I am a South Sudanese citizen living in RSS. With profound sorrow, I have watched the ”elite” misbehave and destroy the country for the last seven years in the name of their ”rights.” I am poor and parentless here so do not have much of a voice. However, my enduring pride is the ability to say that I have never stolen a single pound. My parents and grandparents never stole a single pound. My children and grandchildren will be able to say their ancestors were strong, honest, good hearted people who never stole a single pound.
All of us have the right to speak our opinions about the direction in which the ”elite” (not to be confused per se with the ”educated”) are dragging this nation.
Though I am poor, this is my country too and these are my observations.I understand that the raw truth will hurt but what the Lootership is doing is beyond the pale of justice and it should all come to light, in all it’s vileness and crudeness. Glossing over the Truth is sinking the nation. Socalled Diplomacy is killing the majority in favor of a treacherous few. If you have your own observations and experiences, by all means create your own list using your own vantage point. This and these are mine.
1.If you hear or see something wrong, saying nothing. In fact, do nothing.
2.If you manage to keep your mouth shut and do nothing, you deserve to getpaid.
3.Always pretend that your corrupt leadership has been ordained by God.
4.If you are a regular citizen made poor because your employers have not paid you,or because you are unlucky, or because you have spoken out about something thatis wrong, you are as good as a criminal and the nation will hold you accountable for your poverty and bad luck.
5.If you are a widow or orphan and you steal five pounds, you will be beaten andjailed. If you are a VIP and you stealmillions, you will be congratulated and coddled.
6.South Sudan has a ridiculous amount of VIPs and an over-bloated Cabinet but no capacity.
7.Capacity building is a euphemism for looting.
8.If you are a professional woman who does not sleep her way to the top or does nothave a powerful father or husband to lobby for you, you are as good as toast. Open your legs.
9.If you work hard and honestly and speak out against corruption, you are againstthe country, the government and attempting to destroy the IMAGE of South Sudan.
10.The only Tribe in South Sudan is a tribe called GREED. This tribe practices wild nepotism.
11.Devote more than half of the national budget to security and allow your generals and`’security agents” to use these billions to enrich themselves, not secure the nation.
12.Individual acquisition of money was the sole goalof Liberation.
13.Devour,devour, devour. Gluttony is GOOD.
14.When you get money, flaunt it. Humiliateothers with it. Buy a big car and driveit around through filthy, unpaved streets. Show everyone how rich you are. Let barefoot little children wash your rims for you. Smack them or deny them a pound if they don’treach all your dirt.
15.When they are finished, have them shine your shoes.
16.Equate development of the nation with your personal in questionablecompanies. In fact, litter the new nation with your cheap VIP aspirations.
17.Keep your own children out of South Sudan. Enroll them in `’international” schools in East Africa or theWest. That’s right: create your ownacceptable version of the diaspora while criticizing and isolating all diasporathat came before. In a time of Peace,keep your children in foreign countries.
18.Teach your children to flaunt the wealth you stole from the nation. Teach them that they are better than otherSouth Sudanese children just because. Teachthem to say `’I am the son of a Thief.”
19.Steal whenever you can. If you are in theposition to steal and you don’t, you are despicable and deserve humiliation.
20.If you are in a position of power, make sure you do your best to underdevelopeveryone around you while making beautiful speeches about development. If you find foreign criminals in yourcountry, take them out to dinner: theseare your best Investors.
21.If you find honest, hardworking Southerners in your country, stifle them: these are your best competitors.
22.Use your position and your uniform to commit crimes.
23.Steal billions while begging foreigners for food.
24.Copy whatever scandal you see happening in Kenya.
25.Buy Kenya’s dirty grain.
26.Buy Kenya’s prostitutes.
27.While pretending to promote tourism in your country, hold workshops in Mombasa.
28.While pretending to be recovering embezzled money, open secret bank accounts inNairobi.
29.Grow as fat as possible. Eat so much thatfour men can fit into your single pant leg. When you have grown this fat, waddle in front of the nation and preachabout austerity.
30.Form an Austerity Committee of your best buddies-in-crime and pay them extravagant sitting fees for developing ways to further screw the little guys.
31.Never make a decision as mandated by your position. Wait until total system collapse and then form a Committee. This applies to all positions in government.
32.After siphoning off billions to your personal accounts, shut down the oil pipelineand call it Nationalism.
33.Convince the sons of poor people to fight your wars while your own sons fly first classto go shopping abroad for shiny things.
34.Confuse and befuddle the hearts and minds of your own citizens. Turn the Struggle upside down. Corrupt it. Defile it.
35.Let foreigners pity your nation and then make sure you profit personally and exclusively off of their pity.
36.Mistake the kindness of your citizens for stupidity.
37.Pursue Democracy through exclusionary means.
38.Focus on the short side of history.
39.Assume you are safe.
40.Assume the world finds you charming.
41.Assume the world still gives a damn after you have embezzled billions.
42.Preach to the world that the expectations of the common person in South Sudan are toohigh, even while you drink wine while they have yet to drink water.
43.Don’t solve the issue of providing drinking water to the nation but solve the issueof how to provide water to keep you cars clean.
44.Keep pretending you are a big man rather than just a beggar.
45.Import specialty alcohol. Sit poolside and guzzle it. Create the right image for South Sudan.
46.Keep your citizens low and hungry and demoralized. Keep them dependent.
47.Assume you can still claim a Moral Authority.
48.Use donor money to hide the theft of your own nation’s budget. Partner with foreigners to UNderdevelop yourpeople.
49.Let nations wine and dine you, give you cars, give you loans, give you whores, giveyou whatever in exchange for the continued enslavement of your people. By all means, travel outside of South Sudanas much as possible, all in the name of Development and even while your constituency has never seen you —or needs your constant bribes in order to be satisfied with your empty promises– and even while you hold a whole nation hostage to your ignorance, laziness, mediocrity and largess.
50.Exaggerate your real participation in the Struggle while excluding all other participants. By all means, exclude the contribution of roughly7,999,000 South Sudanese still living and +/-2,500,000 South Sudanese now dead. Feed into the lie that while you wereliberating the country, all these other millions were doing nothing and therefore deserve nothing.
51.Shoot to kill if people don’t pay you your petty respects. Make sure you sit first, take water first,eat first, and that your car always goes ahead first, even if you have to killinnocents to get ahead. If you come across a line of people who have waited in the sun for hours or have walked formiles to get somewhere while you just arrived in an air-conditioned vehicle, makesure all of these losers get out of your way. Knock widows and children out of your way.
52.Use your massive cars as weapons. Speed to nowhere. Speed to tea. Kill pedestrians on your way.
53.Take your Australian children to the front of all lines.
54.Use public money to create more VIP only services. For instance, if the lines at the petrol stations are too long, enter amotion in Parliament to build fuel pumps for you and your colleagues withinyour own compounds.
55.Chargethe public purse millions for your mistress’ shopping and personal security.
56.Use every July 9th celebration to embezzle more funds. Give inflated contracts to your family. Include a VIP Tent and VIP catering while 99%of your nation starves.
57.Keep buying designer cars during times of austerity. Don’t account for the last ones you bought.
58.Secretly reflect on the fact that you are actually a little man and that little men needto overcompensate with big toys.
59.Treat the Civil Service as though it is your Personal Property.
60.If someone justifiably calls you out on corruption, sue them for defamation anduse public money to pay you for your injury.
61.Zero-tolerance equals total immunity and total impunity.
62.Spread both mental and physical diseases around South Sudan all in the name of havingliberated the country.
63.Use your position to marry or sleep with as many women as possible. Spread your seed like a rabid dog and blameit on African tradition or the Bible.
64.Lie. When caught, lie again. When caught in the lie about the lie, keeplying and never stop. Whatever you dodon’t worry about a thing. Sleep safely in the knowledge that a thief can’t catch a thief and `’everybody’s doing it.”
65.Goto Church every Sunday wearing your designer suit over your dirty underwear andpray never ever to be discovered.
66.Alwayscarry a handkerchief and a bottle of perfume.
67.Demand ofothers what you yourself are not willing to do. Take from others what you yourself will not give.
68.Pervert the law. Use it toward your own ends.
69.Prove theworld right. Don’t walk, RUN into the traps into which every other Liberation Movementhas fallen, and drag your entire nation down with you.
70.Silenceeveryone all the time.
71.Dumbly allow NGOs and the UN to operate as a parallel government in your own land. Afterall, Dependency is the African definition of Liberation.
72.Create false antagonisms between civilians. This provides a proxy for VIP failure.
73.Sell your people’s land right out from under them.
74.When you don’t get what you want politically, get some guns and hire hungry people torebel.
75.Destroy both the IMAGE and REALITY of your country while whining that everyone else isdoing so.
76.Delude yourself that you are a patriot.
77.When all else fails, blame the Arabs.
78.When even that fails, claim that the country is a baby and too new.
79.Act more pathetic than a baby.
God Bless the real patriots and citizens of South Sudan. God please reverse this “curse.”
What is the government in view of Dr. John Garang?
If we don’t provide basic needs, the people will drive us into the sea–Dr. John Garang
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