Heavy payment of dowry should be abolished in South Sudan
4 min readBy Yom Mayen Awan, Bor, South Sudan
April 29, 2017 (SSB) — We, South Sudanese people, are surely at perilous time. Everyday news are conveying mass death and life hardship across the country. With an increasing life struggles in South Sudan, some communities, especially the Dinka, have taken dowry payment as a way of creating wealth, enjoyment and even survival of bride’s community as life progress.
The inflation of the dowry price do often leaves our male counterparts in abject poverty, endless family discord and trauma over departed wealth. We may argue it out that it is a continuation of what our ancestors did, oblivious to the fact that the ways of life have changed.
During those times of our ancestors, they used to have a lot of wealth, much of which was in forms of cattle. Western life had back then did not affect them like the way we are now flooded with it. South Sudanese of modern times are everywhere, in different countries learning different cultures.
Secondly, we are educated and education have changed our lives for better. Take an example of western countries, they are educated, more developed and peaceful than us who depend too much on dowry payment; in fact they don’t care about who their girls are getting married to!!!
So why can’t we do the same in South Sudan?
Now, we have house rent to pay, water bill to pay, foods stuffs to purchase, and kids to be taken to good performing schools and so on. Why should a man part way with almost all his wealth in the name of dowry if he surely knows all these expenses are eagerly waiting for him ahead?
Or why should he put himself in dowry payment debts when he surely knows he has nothing left to cater for his new bride and future children? This issue is getting out of hand and seriously needs to be addressed.
Sometime we need to be real, the number of girls in South Sudan is growing faster than the number of boys, and therefore parents should allow these girls to marry whoever they love in order to avoid increase in the number of unmarried ladies.
Parents should also take marriage as a form of appreciation instead of making it as a wealth generation, a business to make a living off; hence, they should also contribute something during the marriage ceremony, that is, both sides of the boy and girl family.
In fact, some of these young men could actually be doing “you” a favor of marrying your girl; there are hundreds of other beautiful girls out there but he chose to marry your girl instead.
If something need to be given, it should be a small token of appreciation.
And for the same reason of business creation, that is why our parents allow many male suitors fight over one girl and so we girls need to stand out for our right.
Therefore, we need to let our young men and women know that love is for two: three kill the sweetness. That was why Adam and Eve were created as a good sign board to copy on.
THANKS YOU!!!
You can reach the author via her email: Yom Mayen <mayenyom025@gmail.com>
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