“Single Ladies … Living Lonely Life”
7 min readMost ladies nowadays would prefer to live a single life than being in love or married. The reason why they do that is not well understood but for the record, some of the ladies who lived single lives are either divorced or they want to be single by choice. Living single lives have its pros and cons. Anyway, let’s not judge a book by its cover. To set the ball rolling, let’s begin our journey …!!!
By Peter Okello, Juba, South Sudan
July 26, 2017 (SSB) — Most people say it is very hard to live a single life but some of the ladies say that actually, single life is the best compare to having a fiancé or living with a husband. According to research that I conducted here in Juba on ladies who are single, divorced or married claims that, it is rather far better to live single life than sharing a room with a “stranger”.
The feedbacks were alarming, sparkling and skyrocketing. Ladies claims that when you live alone, you are absolutely free from stress and you can do what you feel like doing without anyone telling you nonsense. You get what you want, whenever you wanted it and above all, you accept things you want and reject what you don’t … that is the best happiness you have ever wanted to have, they claimed!
When you are alone, you are in peace and quite
You can be alone but not lonely. When you are back from work, you need to rest, relax and relieve your stress. How can you do that? It needs a quiet, silence and peaceful place. Men are distractive and disturbing living thing. When you are near them, they can mess your mind up.
He will take you when you are fresh but dump you later when you are in old pieces and then decide for yet another fresh lady. There is no fresh lady, “All ladies are the same and what they carry is far more the same”
Silence is far more the best option for a rest and a peaceful state of mind. Human beings tend to be in isolation when they need to relax their brain. As Rebecca Beris writes, “science says that silence is much more important to or brains than we think”
I a research conducted in Europe in 2001 reveals that mice exposed to two hours of silence per day developed new cells in the Hippo-campus, a region of the brain associated with memory, emotions, and learning.
It is by far that the study conducted in Kenya defined a default mode of brain function that showed that even when the brain was “resting” it was perpetually active internalizing and evaluating information.
When the brain rests, it is bale to integrate internal and external information into a conscious workplace. Since therefore relieves stress and tension. Silence calms down souls … silence isn’t empty, it’s full of answers. When there is talking … there are no actions.
Ladies choose to be alone and away from men who disturb and distract their peace of mind. Distractions can cause brain inability of thinking wisely and perfectly.
Travel when you feel like it
Research suggests that single ladies like it more when they are alone and free to do whatever they wanted to do. It is a great momentum to plan your vacation alone. Arrange to travel to your desired Countries in African and across the globe is more fantastic then to be guided by your fiancé.
Most single ladies’ claims that men are a headache and troublesome when coming to the decision-making process. Some ladies believe that single life is far better than couple life. Marion Deng Acuil, a lady I met in Kigali, told me that she is happy being alone and stress-free from men.
“I am very happy now more than ever since I separated from my fiancé. He is an idiot, he loves being selfish, and a very mean guy”, she said.
Now, I can travel on my own dates, decide what I ought to do and do whatever I feel like doing. Absolutely free. She said that most ladies should try to be alone, it is very fruitful and beneficial.
Some of South Sudanese ladies are separated with their husbands or loved ones due to misunderstanding and responsibilities mismanagement. Men want their ladies to be doing everything and anything in the house.
They sometimes don’t consider the situation where our ladies are going through. It is by customs and traditions that ladies belong to the kitchen, and men totally left in charge of protection and food provision agents.
You become self-reliant
Did you ever bother anyone in a night club disco or in a birthday party? You have been single for longtime and now you feel like giving it a try to get a guy of your type? Why not try joining churches, Mosque or Sangha! Wait a minute … this is just a brain teaser! Anyway, I was talking about single ladies living absolutely lonely lives.
It is also confirmed that ladies are becoming more responsible and self-centered when they are left alone and only rely on their sole decisions.
When you are alone, you think of yourself and about yourself solely. A lady who is an executive, C.E.O of a certain company or general Manager of an industry, such lady is just a great lady. All she wanna do is to take great care of herself.
She owns a villa house, has a jeep vehicle, has masters or Doctorates, divorced her husband and now she has given her fiancé “a red card” so all she wanna do is to live alone … yap, absolutely alone.
Such ladies are here in South Sudan. They don’t want “husbands or boyfriends or men friends,” they said that those guys are use-less and they just don’t want to share “their hearts or rooms” with such “Idiots,” they said.
They want to be self-reliance and do they stuff without men influence or interference. So tell us … lady. Which kind of a man do you really want?
Avoid messing up with bad guys
Ladies, avoid messing up with these “bad boys” they can vitrify you and your clean classy dresses. Bad boys exist. They are here in Juba. If you are a bad girl, go look for a bad boy but if you are smart and clean lady … please, I would rather advise you to look for a great, smart, respectful and understanding man, for they too, exist here in South Sudan.
There is no short-cut to finding a good man. You have to shed sweats and toils very hard to get one of them. Such men are very hard to find but with time and patience, I guarantee you that you will find one.
You need to be smart and clever when hunting for a wise man. You should be responsible, respectful, honest, lovely, understanding, caring and above all, a lady enough fitting to be called “a woman”
For you to earn a respect in the society and your colleagues to love and understands you, be patient in selecting a soul mate. To get a real love, you have to be slow but sure. Dig out for the right manners and attitude of the guy you are engaged with. Doing that is not easy, you have to be in the circle of “know-zone”
Honest speaking, being alone can make you go crazy sometimes but not all the times. When you are living a single life, you might need an assistant sometimes but in reality, it is far better to have a guy than to be alone on this planet.
God is not mistaken to create a “helper” for a man. Ladies, you either look for a caring and loving man than to beat around the bush with lousy and crazy players in the market. If you can’t get a great guy then,” it is better to live a lonely life”
Peter Okello has a Bachelor Degree in International Relation and Human at University of Pretoria, South Africa, Former chairman of South Sudanese Journalists Union in Kenya (SSJUK), former Sub- editor for the refugee magazine – FilmAid International, regional reporter for the DW, former production manager of Jonglei Public Radio – Jonglei State, Senior reporter at The Dawn Newspaper and Human Right Activist. You can reach him via his email: Okello Peter okellopeter@gmx.com
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