The Gatkuoth Precedent: Gratitude Paradox of Thanking the President for One’s Own Dismissal
By PaanLuel Wël, Juba, South Sudan
- Introduction
In the high-stakes theater of South Sudanese politics, a peculiar new genre of literature, the Post-Termination Love Letter, has emerged. If memory serves me well, the pioneer of this “firing-as-a-favor” etiquette was the former Ambassador to Washington, Hon. Ezekiel Lol Gatkuoth. His was the inaugural epistle in what became a curious epistolary genre.
He was the first to transform a dismissal into a manifesto of gratitude, setting a precedent that has since trickled down the entire bureaucratic food chain. Soon, a procession of the fallen followed suit, from the lowliest doorman to the Mighty Governor Janafil, each penning effusive thank-you notes for their political executions.
Today, no exit is complete without a profuse public display of thanks to President Kiir. Even the vanquished Crown Prince, nursing his wounds in political Siberia, managed to compose his appreciation for being toppled from Mount Olympus (or was it Everest?).
It seems that in Juba, the only thing more predictable than a cabinet reshuffle is the polite correspondence that follows it. Dejected wives and jilted side-chicks now reportedly demand proof: “Let me see his appreciation letter first before believing the SSBC broadcast. After all, these days even political firings might be AI-generated.”
Only King Paul, who apparently missed the memo or perhaps distracted by the shock of exile from the sanctuary of power, neglected this peculiar political ritual of thanking power for showing him the door, a breach of protocol that has not escaped the wary eyes of the watchful Tiger: President Kiir.
- The ROI of the Gatkuoth Precedent
For the pioneer himself, however, the experiment seems to have yielded a handsome Return on Investment (ROI), a generous dividends. The inventor of the “Letter of Obligatory Appreciation,” Hon. Amb. Ezekiel Lol Gatkuoth, has successfully navigated the revolving door of power, triumphantly bouncing back as the newly minted Minister of Public Service and Human Resources Development.
“Support President Kiir now if you are among the ruling elites or expect no other chance to be in government,” Hon. Ezekiel Lol Gatkuoth told the Cabinet while explaining Nuer’s Definition of the proverbial ‘Government’.
It turns out that in the world of South Sudanese politics, thanking the man who showed you the door is the most effective way to ensure he eventually invites you back through it. Paradoxically, gratitude for dismissal, it seems, is not just a social virtue but also a survival strategy for political resurrection.
The Gatkuoth Precedent proves that political capital in Juba is not built on performance, but on performative loyalty. If you leave quietly and gratefully, you remain “in the system.” If you leave silently or runningly (like King Paul), you are perceived as a threat.
The Letter of Appreciation acts as the “re-entry shield,” protecting the official from being labeled an “enemy of the state” and keeping their name at the top of the President’s “Recycle Bin.” Thus, the Gatkuoth Letter is not a thank-you note; it is a Re-entry Vehicle, a Trojan Horse into the Tiger Kingdom.
- The Next Frontier: Pre-Emptive Appointment Appreciation Letter.
We are now entering a new era of political sycophancy, which raises the next logical question in this theater of the absurd. While we have mastered the art of thanking the President for the end of a career, a “virgin precedent” still awaits.
In a land where political life is a cycle of “firing and hiring,” one can only wonder: Who will be the first to break new ground and pen a letter of appreciation for their appointment?
Who will set the virgin precedent of penning a thank-you letter for their appointment? After all, if one thanks power for taking away, surely one must thank it for giving? The record books await.
- The “King Paul” Perspective
This author reached out to King Paul to figure out why his pen remained dry while others were busy writing sonnets to their own dismissals and here is his divine introspection:
“They call me ‘King Paul’ for a reason. Kings do not thank the sun for setting; they simply wait for the morning to reclaim what is theirs.
I watched them, the ambassadors, the governors, and even the little ‘Crown Prince’ scribbling away like schoolboys who had just been given a holiday instead of a pink slip. Hon. Ezekiel Lol Gatkuoth turned his firing into a literary career, and look at him now, back in the ‘Public Service’ like he never left.
But a General does not thank the Tiger who takes his stars. My critics say I ‘forgot’ to write. I didn’t forget. I simply refused to treat my exit like a retirement party. When you are the one who helped build the ‘Sanctuary of Power,’ you don’t send a thank-you note when they change the locks.
You wait. Because in this country, today’s ‘fired’ appointee is tomorrow’s ‘newly appointed’ savior, and I would rather be a king in exile than a doorman with a very polite pen.”
- The Verdict: A New Virgin Precedent
While the “Exit Letter” is now standard operating procedure, we are waiting for the true pioneer of the “Appointment Letter.” In a marketplace where everyone is already thanking the President for their firing, competitive advantage requires innovation.
The natural evolution? Start the gratitude even earlier. Enter SGT Agel Ring Machar, the strategic visionary leader who understood that in a world saturated with post-dismissal appreciation, the only way to truly distinguish oneself is to deploy pre-emptive gratitude.
Why wait for the axe to fall when you can thank the President for the appointment itself? The only way to stand out is to start the gratitude even earlier:
“Your Excellency, thank you for appointing me today. I have already drafted my thank-you letter for when you fire me in eighteen months. Let’s save us both the paperwork.”
Congratulations Gwandit Hon. Amb. Ezekiel Lol Gatkuoth.
If you want to submit an opinion article, commentary, or news analysis, please email it to the editor: [email protected] or [email protected]. PaanLuel Wël Media (PW) website does reserve the right to edit or reject material before publication. Please include your full name, a short biography, email address, city, and the country you are writing from.
About Post Author
