Good Bye: My Last Update – By Tearz Ayuen
4 min readIn case someone might have the slightest inclination that Tearz Ayuen is somehow retreating fast from the battlefield following the assassination of Isaiah Abraham, let him/her be informed that it is “hell no”, to use his language. His is the unfortunate case of the proverbial hand that feed you refusing to entertain your mere presence on the World Wide Net, whatsoever the form of your appearance, lest the feeding is withheld. The battlefield is indeed in the kitchen and the kitchenware plus the food stores risk being collateralized in the process. To quit or not to quit was the dilemma. The “Last Update” unveiled the decision, lest all would have been left wondering what had become of Tearz Ayuen and his fiery but entertaining writings!! We shall all miss you Tearz of Ayuen; rest in waiting my dearest friend!!!—PaanLuel Wel
Good Bye: My Last Update – By Tearz Ayuen
It’s been long since I last posted a line or article here. You must be wondering why, I guess. You know the death of my brother in authorship—R.I.P Isaiah Abraham—has implications on each and every writer and maybe reporters of South Sudan.
Well, as both a writer and reporter, my name has been ‘corrupted.’ I don’t know how I can explain that but look: most writers are currently at war, intellectual war, with the government; very dramatic and interesting war. When I chose to take part in this war, I knew exactly what it would cost me, now and tomorrow. I weighed its pros and cons. However, there is a little problem here and I phrase it this way: a war that is fought at one’s backyard or in one’s kitchen is an unfair war. Even if the warrior wins, it’s unfair because his food store and kitchenware eventually get destroyed in the battle. That’s it.
The bottom line is, I can’t have my articles published by any newspaper or website. I also can’t post anything concerning South Sudanese affairs on my Facebook wall. All I am allowed to write on my wall are high-schoolish updates like: “I am going to the gym, I love my girlfriend, I am bored: someone please call me, look at my new shoes, I got drunk last night. Oh I am constipated.” I feel I’m too old for all of that.
I’m not saying I have quit fighting, writing. No. I can’t, I won’t. You know in every sound critic, there’s a force that drives him or her. That force is powered by qualities such as humanitarianism, impartiality and etc. Those qualities are in me. But I am a writer by choice. That means a lot. I can change my mind and write about apolitical issues but I just can’t because I feel I’m one of the chosen few tasked with shading light on issues that impact on the lives of 8 million plus South Sudanese. In other words, I am a waker. I wake up sleeping dogs. I don’t know who or what chose me though.
As I prepare a ‘new and better battlefield,’ I would love my ‘well-placed’ fellow writers to keep the fire burning. Write every day, every night. Write, write and write until you fall asleep. And remember, a good warrior is the one who aims at his target first before pulling a trigger. Writing against the government is too general and wasteful. It’s no good. No one amongst the stewards will take a bullet shot at the government if you just say the government is corrupt, the government has lost focus, the government has done this and that. So, for your work to hold weight, for your criticism to bear fruits, write about individuals. In writing, frog-march them, pull them by the ear.
For those who look at writers at a different angle, please free yourself of the notion that we criticize the government or individual civil servants simply because we are covetous – that we ourselves want to be on their thrones. Hell no! Our affair with the government is a parent-child relationship. A parent spanks its child not necessarily because he or she wants to be the child but because he wants to shape it to be an upright person in the future.
Besides, forget the idea that these powerful people are untouchable – that we should not talk about them, write about them, mention their names in conversations. You’re wrong, my friend. They are not immune to criticism. This is because they represent people. They live on taxes raised by the citizens. They are elected to power by the people. If writers and human rights groups stop criticizing members of parliament, ministers, governors, the police and army heads, the president and many others, “adeka biup abi pe’el koc gup.”
Happy Christmas, my friend.
Tears©2012
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