Culture and Modernity among the Dinkas (Part 1)
By Amer Mayen Dhieu, Australia
CHIEENG: HOW JIEENG MOST IMPORTANT VALUES HAVE FADED
When I was a little girl I was brought up strickly close to my relatives and cousins. I was taught to love and respect them even my neighbors too. When I eat by myself I can be bullied until I went to look for relatives to share the food with. When we had visitors at home mum will called me and introduced them to me. She would be like ‘kene ee wulen, kene ee menh e wulen, ku kene ee mamadu’ and the list continue.
When I fought with my relatives, we were called together, wiped and told how related we are. We can be even ask to repeat displine words such as ‘malec menh ee walen wo ruai kuka cie pieth buku ya rohm’. Before we go our own ways we can be ask to shake hands together and laughed with each other or we stay grounded for the whole day.
When one relative had some bad news like a decease member, the whole clan or section would go to the decease family, to speak the words of courage and comfort. Jieeng rarely seek professional help like professional counsellors. Women will leave thier children and family members without being taken care of and go to the decease family. Among the things to be done was like to fetch water, cook food and make the bed for decease family members and children.
When one is getting married the whole clan will proudly get together. Eat, sing and celebrate in joy. The bride family welcome their new in-laws to their family while the groom’s family celebrate the welcoming of new family member. Again at this time women of the entire clan will leave their children unnursed for the welcoming of that bride.
When one happen to finished school either university, high school or college the entire community members will come together, celebrate his or her success, pray for him or her to live longer, encourage him or her to be a better person. They will even said some words like “kere wanmaath nhialic abe yi muk ago wo weer bei”.
When one had his or her well-brought up and beautiful daughter, the whole community will put hope on that girl, encourage her to continue behaving well. They will say some words like “kere wanmaath ye rot ngiec ting yin ee kee nyandan bene woh ping rin. Yin ke nyan dan buku cam” and the lists of beautiful jieeng values continue……
BUT WHAT HAVE CHANGED NOWADAYS? Children are rarely introduced to theIr relatives. They rarely have a play date with their fellow relatives kids. Friendship had replace blood relationship. Children are taken on weekend to theIr mum’s friend house instead of relatives. When both relative fight, children are made aware of the conflicting issue between the two families. They will even say it to themselves like:
“my mum hates your mum or your dad hates my dad and therefore we are not allow to go to your house.”
When both children fight, they will either be warned not to ever play together again or both families will interven and fight each other.
WHEN THERE IS MARRIAGE CEREMONY NOWADAYS: Friends are your biggest support system. Relatives be like “no one will look after my kids, I have no tickets or my job won’t allow me to go.” Undefined conflict will emerged. Both relatives will be separated. Some will wait to be invited and some will purely said “no, I wont be attending.” Marriage won’t be treated with prides on both side but with hatred, competition, jealousy and conflict.
WHEN SOMEONE IS DEAD NOWADAYS: We rarely visit the deaceas’ family, rather we merely send our condolences through phones, facebook, Twitter or email. We have unfortuntatelt started disclosing the news before it reach the family.
WHEN SOMEONE HAD ACHIEVED SOMETHING LIKE EDUCATION: we take it for our competition. We work hard to discredit their achievement by saying words such as “Xaai ee ngek de ngek e ke ya assignment de loi” otherwise she or he would have not done it”. Some people would be like “aa yi thukul ee thook yen thin ee thukul abac” it’s not one of the top school/university.
ANYWAY LETS CELEBRATED AND CHERISH OUR BOUNDARIES BUT ALSO EXPECT THE WORSE: There will be a time when one will be attending his or her wedding without his or her relatives. That time is already here. There will be a time when one will be attending his or her graduation with no relatives or cousins. That time is already here.
THE WORSE PART IS THAT THERE WILL BE A TIME CHILDREN WILL NO LONGER CONSIDER BLOOD RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE IT’S HAS BECOME INSIGNIFICANT AND STARTED MARRYING THEIR OWN COUSINS.
I personally won’t be suprised if my daughter or son started dating my uncle son or daughter because I won’t be bother to let them know they are related.
AND MORE WORSE ARE YET TO COME. PLEASE NOTED THE AUTHOR WAS WRITTING IN JIEENG-AUSTRALIAN PERSPECTIVE. Anything other than that is excluded.
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