Things I wish my intellectual sisters should do with their intellectuality.
By Amer Mayen Dhieu, Queensland, Australia.
You are stronger, wiser, intelligent and worthy woman, you have responsibilities in your shoulder: responsibility to inspires, responsibility to influences, responsibility to motivates and responsibility to empowers; There is no surrounding worth being transform than the surrounding of young women beside you.
Dear my intellectual sisters,
There was a time we were under the impression of not being worthy enough. There was another time we revolted from our parents with conviction that we can make it by our own without their input. Those days were burdensome not only to us but to those who care so much about our future and our welfare. Apparently, there is saying in Dinka: “waan ci cit wen” (direct English translation: yesterday is not like today). I love this saying and I use it occasionally in my everyday conversation.
Unlike yesterday for us young ladies, Beverly Sills said: “there is a growing strength in women but it is in the forehead not forearms”. Today we have handful battalion of women, an army of intellectual women full of ability to inspire, influence, motivate and empower the majority of customary women left behind.
My deepest fear and most frightening scene is that these informed women are not giving room to other women, be it in form of influence, motivation or inspiration. Instead, they are showing up with stickers of “I want to be the only rising star” known for my educational background, good writing skills, good literature and comprehensive skills and so forth on their foreheads.
My sincere entreaty is: remove the damn “I want to be the only champion” stickers on your foreheads” and instead “place them where they will truly do you the most good.” You should plant them on vulnerable women.
Sincerely speaking, it doesn’t really matter that much whether or not you are the best in writing, public speaking or group participation. The ability of a woman to triumph start with a heartfelt desire to create, nurture and transform her surrounding. There is no surrounding worth being transform than the surrounding of young women beside you.
Many people including myself have playfully, and sometimes intentionally, called me a feminist. Though I sometimes agree with some fundamental feminists’ tenets, there are certain forms of feminism—radical and neo-liberal feminists—I strongly disagree with. For this reason and the fact that feminism campaign is mostly limited to women (at least within our community), I slightly disagree with people who brand or refer to me as a feminist. I have a deep passion for the belief that every individual who has not yet reach his or her potentials should be encourage to realise their full potential irrespective of their gender differences.
Nonetheless, my desire to influence other women has limitations. For instance, I can sometimes be criticised and urged to stop writing with the contention that my writings is doing so little, is not clear and full of grammatical errors, or simply that I am not capable of being Mrs.-know-it-all.
This caricaturing of my personalities and abilities, however, has never been a setback to my expectable dream. I continue to speak my mind freely and generously with the hope that some day, the intellectual women will finish the line with better notions and ideas way superior and desirable than mine. At the end, we shall have one common goal and that is helping other women realise their full potentials.
Can the intellectual women please call for “less swagger and more sway” among the young generation of our women
It might sound like a joke but there are millions of women who are desperately in need of inspiration, motivation, influence and empowerment from their fellow women. I am one of them. Some are back home and some are abroad.
Although some of young South Sudanese women in the West and outside South Sudan took the challenge and have managed to complete their higher education, there are still other groups of young women who need to be empowered and recruited to form a generation that will later speak up for equal opportunities and better treatments for women in the country.
These are young girls who are likely still under “honeymoon” stage in life and whose goal is to make and manifest the essence of “YOLO” slogan. The “YOLO” slogan has been famously used by celebrities in Hollywood such as 50 Cent, Queen Latifah, Usher and Rihanna as an expression on how life should be approached which obviously stand for “you only live ones”.
This slogan inculcates a false belief in young girls’ minds in which some have already decided to deal with life as social phenomena that need only engrossment in wild and fun social activities. This is not inferior in any way however, as Maya Angelou stated, “you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; instead you need to be able to throw something back.” I personally see the side taken by this generation of young women serving so little and sadly directed on one way. They are not throwing any hands back to their fellow women left with no opportunities without being urge to cease the bad practice either.
Unlike women, elders siding under the shed of their reserved houses in villages do urge young men abroad to go to school and return home to help in national development. So how come none of you intellectual women is informing these little girls about the heavy load of work left behind, basically helping other women in the country to realise their potentials? I believe there are young women at home who need just a voice to waking them up. For them to do this they need your dear experiences.
How “you” intellectual women are playing negative role in helping out our young women.
An anonymous author once wrote: “Life should not be a journey to the grave with intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out.”
I am seeing a lot of abilities in you all. I mean you the intellectual women. You write perfectly with good English; you have been to good schools; you have good opportunities and you are very much educated and duly patriotic.
While you’re seeing all of these things in you just like I see them, have you ever thought of passing them to other women who have none of your qualities, skills and experiences? If I were to answer that, I would say that all you are showing them is negative pride like the one I heard on SBS Dinka interview last week with one of South Sudanese intellectual woman.
When you all know you are the only intellectual women who know better than everyone else, why is it competitive attitudes that we are seeing in you? My question is, did you spend 12 years of your high and primary school and four years of your higher education only to show our ordinary women how well-educated you are and how correctly you write and spell English words; how superb you read, analyze and present information in intellectual manner?
Didn’t you go to school with the goal of changing yourself and be who you want to be in a productive way that will influence other women so that we all be like you? Or don’t you yet realise your power and ability to influence, motivate, inspire and empower me and other ordinary women? Do you intellectual women really know that you are setting nothing but a bad example to this young generation of women coming after you?
I might be wrong anyway. I might be forcing you to do something you are not passionate about. However, empowering young women is a “must be done” duty of every intellectual woman that thinks what she has achieved is good enough. If “you don’t like being a door-mate, then get off” the path and give a chance to other women and men who are passionate about empowering young women.
The ability and intellect you preach to the world and the one we are seeing in you is “a bricks and dreams” women need to realise. Your skills and experiences are the greatest powers that are needed to bring ordinary women out of their tedious life. How you are using these skills and experiences establish the inspiration they are longing to see in you. If you act aggressively and engage in destructive competition to women who are almost at the same level with you, how will you act toward the poor innocent women in the villages who have never attended any school?
How You Should Use Your Intellectuality?
Edith Wharton says, “there are two ways to spread light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects”. On the other hand Marianne Williamson asserts, “we are not held back by the love we didn’t receive in the past, but by the love we are not extending it to the present.”
1- Competitive behaviours imbue nothing but hatred, self-assertion and selfishness. If you care less about sharing your ideas with other ordinary women because they are not at your level, be humble and act intellectually so the downstairs women will be envious of you and work harder to be just like you.
2- If you think you are intellectually perfect, then stop using abusive language as a tool to debate your high intellectual views. Debate in a mature way that will set example to other women who are yet to learn how what empowerment is.
3- For less educated women, if you wish to share your knowledge with other women who have not yet reach your level but fear that you will be criticized by the well educated women, speak using your mouth. Start at your very own backyard. The one sister you will inspire will inspire another young girl in her own way and that number will never be counted back to the number of those women who are yet to learn how to read and write.
4- You are more totally away from reality if you think there is a certain group of women you must associate and debate your ideas with. If you only want to be in group with people you’re in the same level, then be aware there is no one you are teaching. Those who need you most are the ones you refuse to debate with.
Thing You Should Not Do
1- Stop pulling curtains on women who are trying to hike mountain by challenging them with how inexperienced they are in hiking. If you simply don’t want to share your experience with them, leave them to try out by their own without your negative interference.
2- Stop negative pride and ego like the one I heard last week from SBS Dinka interview. Your credibility will be recognised by the very mere people you will inspire and that will speak volume by itself.
3- Remember always, the best moment to be proud of is when you see what you are doing is helping other people the way you have intended (or could have never imagined).
4- Stop giving yourself credit, let the people you serve do it.
5- Overall, always remember: “you are unique just like everyone else.” Therefore, “identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in, where you want to go” and be humble to share it.
In short, be a woman that inspires others in your own small ways.
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