Dear young South Sudanese girls including my old self!
By Amer Mayen Dhieu, Australia
October 30, 2015 (SSB) —- Much uproars have been expressed by concerned South Sudanese concerning the recent wedding of the South Sudanese first female pilot, Aluel Bol, to Marial Gumke, a man with two other wives.
Dear young South Sudanese girls including my old self, do not stop learning from our trailblazing sister, Aluel Bol, who recently got snatched away from us by a polygamist.
Despite all odds, she is still our role model—the first woman who put our name down the history of South Sudan Aviation as well as of Ethiopia and Dubai.
Her educational experiences testify the veritable fact that women can go to school, study and become anything our counterparts in the bygone years have never been. She is a great lady and still is; however, do not try what she tried at your personal level. I mean her choice of marriage.
The lifestyle of our forefathers and foremothers may deceive us that polygamy is culturally acceptable. No, it is not given this era where kids need breakfast every morning, school fees every term and diapers hourly.
It is not just about economic conditions, mind you, but about our dignity as women.
Think of our sisters that will be filed up in marriage with you. They might have put the first impressions on the husband leading the guy to marry them before you, and here the table have turn.
You will be his centre of attention most of his life before he got himself another lady leaving the poor first wives in drought of love.
No one in our God-given sisterhood right would think of letting her other half—sister—suffer emotionally.
Men are good at making us feel better. They might support us in love and marriage. They can help us achieve our dreams or take care of our kids but all these services cannot be available to us all if we are more than one in marriage.
If you are lucky to get all of them, then think of your sister sharing the same husband might not be getting anything, making you the evil of all women.
Before we start contemplating sharing of husbands, we should all first think of other sisters, for their lives really matter too as much as ours.
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The opinion expressed here is solely the view of the writer. The veracity of any claim made are the responsibility of the author, not PaanLuel Wël: South Sudanese Bloggers (SSB) website. If you want to submit an opinion article or news analysis, please email it to paanluel2011@gmail.com. SSB do reserve the right to edit material before publication. Please include your full name, email address and the country you are writing from.
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Amer mayen is anti-marriage woman who live in Australia. She not marriage just having fun with single guys. Amer without cheating and divorce, many women can stay without men for the rest of their lives.the reason is that nature produces more women than men.because of that ploygam is the best alterative. Aluel made a good decision because all she need is a strong family for her children.our marriage is base on family not personal fun.Aluel can make her own money and fun.remmember big families in dinka communities are more respect than small one.your western education is not working everywhere.I came from a big family where we care for one another so please stop it.find yourself an old man before you leave this planet single.ploygam is fine as long as there is a discipline in the family.
What’s your point of interest to the youngest girls of South Sudan #Amer?
Amer many thanks for your opinion!
It’s not bad to express what you think and feel it’s not right to you or others. I believe Aluel Bol is more educated than you than Amer but don’t judge her for spouse. Aluel Bol has seen it all but still she lives with cultural values, norms, customs and other traditions. However, the way of life you have seen in Australia isn’t the way here in South Sudan. It’s not bad to have one spouse but it’s not suitable for us South Sudanese cos the war for 22 years has devastated our families and we want to rebuild them. On the other hand, culture doesn’t change overnight but it’s a process to eliminate what you think is bad part of the culture. You talked more about love and care for the wives. Currently there are families with more than five wives and they are living a happy life than you Amer who is owning a single husband it’s’s my opinion. Otherwise monogamy families are more than one problem than polygamy families. Thanks and take it as my opinion. God bless us all.
Great peace, Amer. Keep it up.
Great piece, I mean
Sometimes, we seriously need to stay in our lanes. This marriage was discussed in social media not forgetting that the couple deserve privacy and a peace of mind. What is your business in this that you would penned an opinion piece?
How about you get marriage to a man that is not polygamous first?
At first of all i would like to thanks Aluel on her discussion she made
to be couple with a man who is stable on his own not a youth ,which has not settle in mind ,,
the man with Aluel is a man who can care up for his time ,,
. My people has taken Aluel discussion in wrong,doesn’t mean that if you are a educated you have to go with a young man that is not a case my brother and sister
Aluel is exemplary to everybody
my almighty God guard You in all circular
Hi Amer Mayendit, I personal appreciate your stance on issues of gender, especially feminist issues. However, I would like to caution you here and be more sensitive, when dealing with those issues of contentious or having bias elements in it. Good example here is the issue of Aluel Bol. Aluel is our iconic as nationof South Sudan as whole in her career achievement and Nation as whole would stand up condemning if there’ illn treatment in her marriage.
Your arguement in this case would make alot of sense, if Aluel was force marriaged to that polygamist man, but my understanding she choose her partner, that is she made her choice and decision of which she is entitle to. Remember love break all odds and barriers, that’s why you see people marriage to total stranger or foreigner and Aluel is one of example of those people who broke the odd & barrier as she did in her career by broke the barrier and choose career in avaition. your article seem to open up to others to term you in way the like or think and personallised to you. Many may see you as problem or anti-men and cultures. Well there are some cultural elements need correction of which force marriage and early or child marry are certainly those elements. I would recommend you to stay your course and keep campaigning on girls and women issues but remember to appraoches these issues tactically and with sensitivity, so you avoid get resistance and lose support. I would commend you to recruits and involves more men in your campaign so you can not being seen as bias, anti-men and cultures and tradtionals. Good luck!
You guys are wasting your time advising this girl, she is already out of control her sense and that is why she do not have a man. You can let her continue with her snooping in other people social life until she step into something she can not get out of it.
@ Amer, The marriage must be up to someone ability to decide. The couple are very rich and therefore, they agreed to be partners knowing that their budget will cover what you are complaining for. I have disagree with the people above who said the family will be respected or it is done in that way to regained the population we have lost during civil war. It is the resources that will dictate you. What if you have enough resources and one wife with few children, who do you think will be educated?
Your western characters contribute to the fall and destruction of our country. The blame has to go to Paanluelwel for accepting such nonsense posting instead of intercepting them. If Aluel outmaneuvered you in marriage and education, please shut your mouth. I have heard that ladies of your type do make masturbation to satisfy themselves while pretending not to be associating with men. Aluel is not foolish enough to accept what she did not scrutinized properly. Your presumptuous post opined your view is well noted but be warn that there is internet and technology privacy law.
leave this girl (s—) fplks. i commented on one of her articles few months ago that i am longing to have her as my second wife and sure she will a second wife to somebody else if not to me. which man in his normal senses will risked marrying a girl with runaway attitudinal issues. she has chose war (polygamy) she doesn’t know the end results or unwinnable. goooooooood luccccck!!! .
leave this girl (s—) fplks. i commented on one of her articles few months ago that i am longing to have her as my second wife and sure she will a second wife to somebody else if not to me. which man in his normal senses will risked marrying a girl with runaway attitudinal issues. she has chose war (polygamy) she doesn’t know the end results or unwinnable. amer stop putting marital photos of philip Wrong (aluong gai) on your article because they (couple) know the value of marriage and dinka culture. your education is a waste!. by the way, what is the rating of your relationship with majok piel? goooooooood luccccck!!! .
leave this girl (s—) folks. i commented on one of her articles few months ago that i am longing to have her as my second wife and sure she will a second wife to somebody else if not to me. which man in his normal senses will risked marrying a girl with runaway attitudinal issues. she has chose war (polygamy) she doesn’t know the end results or unwinnable. amer stop putting marital photos of philip Wrong (aluong gai) on your article because they (couple) know the value of marriage and dinka culture. your education is a waste!. by the way, what is the rating of your relationship with majok piel? goooooooood luccccck!!! .