The Eulogy: Honouring the Memory of the Late Dr. Ding Col Dau Ding (Part 2)
The Eulogy of Our Beloved Late Dr. DING COL DAU DING (MBChB; DPhil (PhD); BSc (Hons)): Nov 21st 1975 – Oct 28th 2015
By Dr. Dau Col Dau Ding (the elder brother of the deceased)
November 27, 2015 (SSB) — Friends, loved ones and family; It is a privilege under the eyes of God for me to honour and pay tribute to a very special and precious person which we have tragically lost; my younger brother, my best friend and my soul-mate, Dr. Ding Col Dau Ding.
All lives that we lose within our new country are precious and this one has truly affected many of us more than most. Ding was tragically taken away from us all just under one month short of his 40th birthday. We are all devastated and heartbroken, and the pain and sorrow we feel as a family is more than words can ever express or I can say.
I’d like to start my humble tribute to my late younger brother with a poem entitled; “My Other Half”:
Never thought it could be you,
I never wanted it to.
My other half of me just disappeared.
Darkness came as fast as you got your angel wings.
My tears will never go away,
My heart feels like it’s been thrown away.
When I heard the news,
I fell to my knees.
Not wanting to get up,
I heard you say it’ll be okay.
Flying across continents to see if it was true.
Memories running through my head not believing my only brother’s life was gone.
I sit there looking at you,
Wanting to shake you.
I couldn’t see those brown eyes,
There’s not a smile that could ever be replaced.
God, take this pain away from me.
I never got to say goodbye,
I want you to answer me why.
I was too late to take his place,
But all I can do is wait.
Till then I’ll be missing him.
Ding was a very unique and remarkable brother, son and human-being in so many ways. He was a force of nature and he lived his life to the fullest and touched so many people during his time here with us. This is no more evident than by the so many loved ones and friends who have come to mourn, grieve and honour him with us since his death.
As I began to reach out for the right words to express my thoughts about my brother Ding, I remember the many valued and meaningful roles that Ding played throughout his young life as pages found in a book.
On the first and foremost page, I see Ding as a family man. He loved his family profoundly and without measure. He was a devoted son, brother, uncle, cousin and friend.
Ding was a true comfort for our mother and father, his sisters, his niece and myself. He was so devoted to us all that I always felt comfortable when I was away and he was around. I knew that everyone that we cared for would be kept safe and everything would be OK. I always knew he was there watching over everyone as his spirit still is right now. He was a very caring and genuinely loving man.
Ding took all of the roles in his life very seriously and straight into his heart; and he always strove to honour, support and, most importantly, protect his family. He was at his happiest when he was surrounded by his family and this was still the case even during those inevitably tough times that life has a way of throwing at you. Ding’s devotion and commitment to his family was the foundation of his actions – the anchor that defined and shaped his life no matter what he did.
As I turn to the next page of Ding’s life, I see Ding – the friend. He was a good friend to so many. He could be counted upon and depended on always. Whether you needed simple advice, a caring ear, a shoulder to lean on, some compassionate listening silence, or someone to pass the time away with – he was your man; always ready, steadfast, willing and good fun.
As I have seen over the unbelievably somber days following my brother’s murder, I have met many family members and friends and I know that they too will miss the friendship that Ding brought into their lives. I’m sure all will remember him in their very own special way and always know this; Ding would not have wanted for you to be sad for too long but to continue to live life to the full as he did.
As I continue to turn the pages in Ding’s life, I see Ding a man defiant and unwilling to settle for less. He lived a principled life underpinned by a strong sense of right and wrong, and good and bad, whilst always striving for the very best. He always used to say: “That if anything is worth doing it’s worth doing well otherwise why do it at all?!”
Ding was not a cruel man and he wanted everyone to understand that nothing can be gained from holding a grudge or leaving any issue that was clearly wrong, unclear and unspoken. He spoke-out often when it really counted; his strong principles did not allow him to let something wrong stand unchallenged. Ding cared enough to act and to follow through. He never ever feared when he knew he was on the righteous path. He never let anyone or anything stand in the way of making things right. He once even directly donated his very own blood to a very sick child that he was treating in Juba. That is something that I have never ever heard any other doctor do anywhere. We can only imagine how much more Ding would have accomplished in his life were it not for his sudden death.
I shall forever only wish to God that I had been around in Juba that fateful day of his death. I only wish that he had fully heeded my advice, and that of others including our very own father who were concerned, when I told him that if you feel that unsafe that you need to have a gun in Juba, then please leave South Sudan as no professional who saves lives should ever feel insecure in his work; and especially when he is working within his very own country. But Ding was steadfast, committed and loyal to his country, and at times he was alone, working late at the clinic, driving home from work, and home alone as he was on that fateful and tragic night he died.
I suppose the question which we now have to ask ourselves following the death of my brother is: “Why did my brother Dr. Ding, or any other healthcare professional or civilian for that matter, feel that he needed to have a gun for his own personal security when he was selflessly delivering life-saving services to his people?” Many of us may already know the correct answer to this question. Perhaps the reasons many people do so, perhaps the reasons why many people die through violence in our country almost every day, and as the Pastor at my late brother’s funeral Service in All Saints Cathedral said to us all; “Death in Juba and South Sudan has become much closer to us all than life itself.”
Another page is turned and I see Ding as a respected citizen. He shared his brilliant and beautiful mind and knowledge with anyone. He worked very hard and tirelessly until his very last day on God’s mortal earth. Ding was not just a student of science but also a student of life and he never stopped learning about his country and its people through his work and his loving family and friends, including the late Dr. John Garang De Mabior. He never sat back and lay on his laurels and he never became complacent of his achievements. He was always striving for perfection both outside South Sudan and inside his country. As Dr. John Garang used to tell him; “if you do not contribute to the struggle by picking up a gun in the bush, you will make your contribution later with your pen and your stethoscope in the New South Sudan”. Ding believed this unflinchingly for the whole of his academic and professional life.
Yes, Ding did become very unhappy and frustrated by much around him that was not as he had expected and not as it should be, but he never gave up or let that beat him. Ding was a 100% true fighter and was never ever a quitter. He would always stand up for what he believed in and go down fighting for that same belief no matter what; even fighting physically at times if need be to protect that same strong belief. This characteristic within him I had always admired and loved ever since we were very small boys back in the United Kingdom; and Ding led fully by example as he mentored both his family and friends in a way that any one of them can say was an inspiration in their lives.
Ding would never ever take his own life for he had everything to live for and he always knew how to get what he wanted in the end. He was relentless and focused with a true sense of “seriousness of purpose” in all that he did. He never ever took the easy way out of anything nor the wrong and unrighteous way. He had a strong moral compass that was driven by integrity at all times. We as the children of our parents, Dr. Col Dau Ding and Zeinab Bilal Lual Ayen, are all like this because of the way that they brought us up.
My brother Ding was a natural, prodigally-brilliant yet humble scholar and academic whose professional achievements in Great Britain and South Sudan had already begun to speak for themselves from a very young age. He is arguably the youngest South Sudanese PhD holder from Oxford University, attaining a Doctorate of Philosophy in Neuroscience at the age of 26 years, and this he added to his Bachelor of Science Honours Degree in Pharmacology and his Medical Degree both of which were attained from another prestigious and internationally renowned University, Bristol University also in the United Kingdom.
My brother’s achievements made all of us as his family immensely proud as he aspired to them all in preparation for his long and selfless service to his country of South Sudan and its people. One could truly say that whatever Ding touched turned to gold because he had a vision that drove him and prompted him to act. But Ding by the same token was very confident and not arrogant nor proud that he would not turn to his family and friends for advice. He always knew that two or three heads were better than one.
As I turn the page again I come face to face with Ding a man of natural physical talents and dedication. A handsome man with an electric smile. He was always an exceptional sportsman who loved soccer and tennis.
As a secondary school child, Ding had the option to continue on, after suffering a very debilitating illness, to become a top professional international soccer player but instead he chose to enter higher academic studies and aspire to become a neurosurgeon and neuroscientist to help his people. He forwent a large personal fortune and international fame in exchange for a career of selflessly saving lives and giving service to his people under the vision of “take the development and towns to the people”. He truly believed this with all of his heart, and it drove him every minute of his life from the time he started focusing on his academic work till his untimely passing. Ding was a light in a time of darkness and he gave hope and saved the lives of so many. Ding has left behind this light. His passion, his spirit, his honesty and hard work; what he did and the way he did them are all golden lessons he has left us that must continue to shine brightly within each of our lives in South Sudan.
The next page in Ding’s life that I find most pertinent at this painfully sad time is the role that religion and spirituality played in Ding’s life. My brother Ding loved his God. He had peace with his God. We all knew him as a very committed yet private and reserved man but he was totally loving with a quiet faith that guided all his actions, words and deeds. He was a true Christian who worshipped at All Saints’ Cathedral and he attained unbreakable strength and belief from that. He strove always to be the best man he could be; a family man, a brother, a friend and a champion to others with far less of a voice or hope.
Ding, my brother, it is very hard to say goodbye to you so we will just say, “so-long for now until we meet again”. The pages of your book will not be closed for I your older brother, your parents, your sisters, your family and your friends will keep your book open. We shall all continue along the path towards your lifelong vision, and I promise you that we shall fulfill it my brother.
We will continue to remember you through the many people that are still left behind whose lives you touched so greatly and warmly in a very short space of time. You may not have realised it Ding before your premature ascension into heaven to now sit at the side of our Lord, but I’m sure that you can now see, as you look down upon us all today, that you have already left an amazing legacy behind which I your brother, your family and all of your loved ones will continue to build upon. Through them you leave this world a better place than when you entered it, and for that you have to be very proud as we all are.
I would like to share another poem as I near the end of my tribute to my loving brother Ding:
If I should die before the rest of you,
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone.
Nor, when I’m gone, speak in a Sunday voice,
But be the usual selves that I have known.
Weep if you must,
Parting is hell.
But life goes on.
So sing as well.
Ding brother, we will miss you, but we will always remember you with immeasurable love and admiration always and forever. Your strong and fearless spirit still lives on powerfully within myself, and within each of us as your family and friends. We love you and we will all see you again one day to once again share and laugh together in eternity.
May God rest your beautiful and precious soul forever in eternal peace.
God Bless you my brother, and may God stay our sorrow and give us all the strength to endure and find hope from the Holy Spirit as we continue to mourn your early and untimely departure from our loving side. I celebrate your precious life brother and I again promise you that your legacy will continue to grow with us all that have remained behind.
Please let your untimely and tragic death not be in vain, and let it become a genuine symbol of togetherness and commonality of sorrow for all of us within our new nation, as we work towards what we must immediately change for the better. We now need hope more than ever before. Please let us all ensure unequivocally, and without partisanship, that all South Sudanese that still want to build-up their new nation feel safe and secure within it, and they do not feel the need to facilitate their own personal security when they are selflessly trying to help many others far less fortunate and more needy than themselves. This will be the only truly just and worthy tribute by all of us in memory of my late and patriotic brother who dearly loved his country and all of his people, and who has sacrificed everything in the pursuit of serving them with his undying loyalty, pride, love and care.
My dear brother Ding, may God Almighty Rest your beautiful Soul in Eternal Peace. We celebrate your inspiring life and promise to further your legacy and its powerful vision. Thank you for giving it to us.
The Family and Friends of the Late Dr. Ding Col Dau Ding, is currently following closely the official investigative and legal proceedings into their Son’s death as it has been formally reported as involving Foul-Play by the South Sudan Police Service.
Any enquiries or words of condolence to the Family may be sent to the following email address: info@ardcmedical.com
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