A Critiquing of “Dowry payment should be constitutionalized” by Amer Mayen Dhieu
By Gai Pac, Ottawa, Canada
February 11, 2016 (SSB) — I think you Amer Mayen Dhieu miss certain points in your arguments which in turn makes you seem like a hypocrite. In particular, you need to analyze things from the perspective of the youths and men that tend to physically, psychologically, and emotionally abuse their spouse. Amer should have applied cultural relativism when she wrote this article. For example, you stated that, “But how and why? How could one dehumanize and degrade a person he has expend all his youth-hood working in order to legally have her in his life? I see bride price as the only way men must know the true worth of women”.
Getting married for men is a difficult task especially for the rural men that have no other access to economic opportunities, if a man has worked hard all his life to have cows in order to pay the dowry it will make him become entitled to the wife. For instance, if the wife refuses to obey her husband, her husband has the right to spank her because there were conditions that were attached to giving out that dowry in the first place, the husband will be angry due to the fact that he paid a lot of dowry and the wife is being disobedient, he will feel disrespected and will take out that anger upon her.
Secondly, you need to understand that most of the men that paid the dowry were expecting their wives to be obedient, now they feel they have fulfilled their obligation by paying the dowry however, the woman refuses to keep her promise/ ignores her part of the deal and this infuriates them and the end result will be spanking of the wife. In general, when there is a contract or deal being signed by two parties both of them need to adhere to the deal, if one party fulfills its obligation, while the other party refuses to carry out its duties then there is a consequence for the party that does not adhere to the law. As well as, in South Sudan that consequence is usually physically violence towards the wife, which the wife deserves.
As I mentioned earlier, you are a hypocrite because you want the men to pay bride price to the woman and you describe it as a truly worthy thing to do to a woman. Bride price is the thing that leads to the wife to be abused, it looks like you are advocating and demanding for men to pay dowry to, but the woman should not have any responsibilities whatsoever. It seems that you are a self-proclaimed feminist that believes that you are better than men, there is nowhere in your article you even discuss that at least the wife needs to do her household chores, if the wife refuses she deserves a spanking or her family can return back those cows.
All in All, I hope at least I managed to knock some sense in your brain. The youths and men that worked hard to pay bride price should not heed to your useless advice regarding the way they treat their wives. It is a hurdle to treat someone properly that is not submissive and ignores her duties which certainly indicates that she lacks moral character and integrity.
The author, Gai Pac, is currently residing in Ottawa, Canada. You can reach him at williamjames2006@outlook.com
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