Independent ladies … Pay their Bills

Posted: July 23, 2017 by PaanLuel Wël Media Ltd. in Commentary, Contributing Writers, Junub Sudan, Opinion Articles, Opinion Writers, Peter Okello, Socio-Cultural

Have you ever gone out with your boyfriend, just to chillax during the weekend at the riverside or in a classy hotel and then, when time for paying bills comes, your guy starts to pay for you or you boarded a taxi and this guy of yours claims to be paying everything and anything that your fingers had laid on, Ladies … “this gorgeous guy is controlling every second of your breath in his palms” Don’t allow your guy to pay for you, Here are the reasons why you shouldn’t allow your man to pay for your bills in a golden plate.

By Peter Okello, Juba, South Sudan


Sabina Dario Lokolong, deputy minister for humanitarian affairs and disaster management, Nov 2011

July 22, 2017 (SSB) — Today, many people question the validity and viability of relationship and openly wonder if it should continue to be esteemed as the bedrock of modern social development. Ladies are habitually becoming the first hand victims than usual as men claims all the million responsibilities in this modern society.

What is the reason as to why your man wanted to be paying all the house bills, studying fees, transportation fares, lunch bills, cinema or games tickets, all the time, why? Why are you so reluctant to object his claims of being “Mr. responsible guy?

Listen ladies … men pretend to be very clever and they will tend to find many ways to persuade you so that you fall into their traps. There is no problem with your man paying bills but the mountain problem here is “he could be acting as being a nice and a responsible man now but in future trust me, this man of yours will starts excuses” just wait and you will see!

Well the world is a global village right now. So if your man is abroad or within Africa, you have nothing to worry about. You can call your man anytime and video chat with him. You have this sophisticated gadgets, don’t you? You own IPhone 7, Samsung 8, Techno 6 or Techno 6 plus, Black Berry, Sony Erickson, Infinix or Huawei phone.

Your life is just smooth as the road to heaven. You live in this classy and beautiful apartment, perhaps in this luxurious villa, lady … you have the world remote in your right hand. You enjoy, this planet is yours! But that is not what I wanna tell you, let me tell you why you should be a responsible lady … let’s begin our journey, shall we?

“We need to talk”

It is a culture in South Sudan that men should be responsible to pays bills for ladies or is it a man-code thing? Okay, let me make it crystal simple then. I know men will hate this article, but guys, this message goes straight to you!

It is true that we need to control every game that relates to intimate relationship. We need to see our ladies respecting us. We love ladies who are responsible enough to handle bills in your absentia. A lady who is smart, clever, active, focus, determine and independent.

How then can this become easy if you can’t allow your lady to take a lead in the house. What is wrong with a lady paying children school fees, getting games or cinema tickets, taking you out over a placid weekend party, buying lunch and so on and so forth.

Guys, ladies need to be given great attention, understanding, respect and above all, to be loved all the time. Yes, I said, you should show maximum love and attention to your lady.

Ladies need that special love and affectionate care. When she comes back from work, she should be received by hugs, kiss and if possible, carry her on your back. If promising … why not! Wait a minute, … I mean, be careful, especially when your lady is heavy, don’t carry her, she might fall off and that might lead to fight or invention of argument.

Guys, you need to be there for your ladies. Cook for them, if possible, dressed the bed and make a huge surprise by doing things she thought you couldn’t do. Take her for shopping, surprise her with special gifts, go together to watch movies in the cinema theatre or even in your own room, go for vacation in other countries together.

I mean you got to spend gorgeous time together. The bench mark for doing this is that, she will love you and will only love you forever because you will be her hero and supper natural man. No any other man will occupy her heart… trust me.

Ladies love guys who care, respect, reason well, help her, when she is caught in hard work, managed and take care of his children, understand family problems, a man who is never late to come home, give much time to his lady and does most of the family errands together with his lady.

Why Men Cheat!

It is by nature that men cheat. It is natural and quite simple to cheat. Listen to me, it is not all men who cheat but most of them cheat. You wonder why men cheat, it is simple. Let me tell you all the reasons behind men cheating things.

When a man gets married, he is loyal on the first day, month or years, to be precise. Now, ladies are beautiful on the first date and on the day of marriage but the problem is, when they get 2 to 3 children, they start saying that they are old and hence they don’t care to dress well or managed themselves well.

Men loves beautiful ladies who keeps themselves clean, neat, gorgeous and dress well, perhaps in latest fashion. If you think your software is still new and you don’t know that you are using for the year 2000 software… please lady, try to update it. It is obsolete, it need to be renewed.

We don’t entertain ladies who are lazy and don’t cook for their men. Ladies who are reckless and careless about the affairs of the house. Dirty kitchen, compounds, dirty clothes, including those of his fiancé and children, dirty everything …!!! We cannot entertain that. We feel like you are old enough to be my lady. It would then be the time to switch to different channel and get new news or program for the day.

Ladies are like taxi, you missed one now, you get another one the next day, or say “ladies are like clothes in the market, you buy one today, tomorrow you need another new one”

Some men cheat because their ladies are not responsible enough to take care of them. Being crummy sometimes is too bad for us men. We need ladies who maintain their beauty. Ladies who are up to date with this modern technology… a lady who is this and who is that … ladies, please switch to this system!

Keeping a man

Most ladies would like to ask how someone can keep his man in the house. It simple. Men are like children. You must make sure that he gets what he like first. You know what I am talking about, don’t you?

When I come home, I need to see children are clean, well dressed, done their homework, food is ready, bed is well dressed… above all, he wants to know how everyone had been at home.

If your guy comes home and you are not there, house is dirty including the kitchen, children are hungry, clothes are dirty and no food to eat, this and that is not okay, tell me, what do you really want your man to do? Commonsense can answer these questions.

Taking care of your man is a demanding job. You need to do this and that, for your man to acknowledge your effort is not only by loving him but also taking great care of his children and himself. If you can do that every day, then you are indeed the right lady on the right track.

A smart lady … is a responsibly lady

A smart lady is indeed a responsible lady. Ladies, you should not wait for your man to take control of everything and anything within a family. You must make sure that, all of the family affairs are being taken care off, either you or by your man. It is quite important to work together with your man as a team to solve some problems in the house.

Responsible ladies always give suggestions and ask questions to their husbands. Finding out things that are not in right way, from your man is not bad but you must make sure that you ask your guy in right way, of course.

Be honest, kind, respectful, understanding, a hard working lady, lovely and adorable in all things. Giving your man what he needs now and tomorrow is never a problem if you really want to make him happy and keep him in your circle otherwise.

Doing good things to your family is never a hard deal to begin with. Those are the rules and responsibilities of a great lady. You need to pay bills for your family. Give your man a piece of mind … “he is not an ATM card” for Christ sake!

And ladies, let’s be honest, you should understand your man sometimes but not all the time obviously. This guy need attention, care, love and cooperation. If none of these exist, I don’t know what else you will give your man as a token of good husband… to say the least, independent ladies … always pay their bills.

Peter Okello has a Bachelor Degree in International Relation and Human at University of Pretoria, South Africa, Former chairman of South Sudanese Journalists Union in Kenya (SSJUK), former Sub- editor for the refugee magazine – FilmAid International, regional reporter for the DW, former production manager of Jonglei Public Radio – Jonglei State, Senior reporter at The Dawn Newspaper and Human Right Activist. You can reach him via his email:

The opinion expressed here is solely the view of the writer. The veracity of any claim made is the responsibility of the author, not PaanLuel Wël: South Sudanese Bloggers (SSB) website. If you want to submit an opinion article or news analysis, please email it to SSB do reserve the right to edit material before publication. Please include your full name, email address and the country you are writing from.

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