A FUGITIVE OF LOVE

By Adol Akuei, Eldoret, Kenya

It’s because of you that I have become a person

I knew not,

Following up your damn knots,

I have lost my identity for your sake,

Doing things hastily without a break,

– 

And I become a broken winged bird in those shabby shoes of yours

That you ominously wear,

And could not tear 

It’s all in the name of love that I am driven off,

And get lost in the deep forest of thoughts as I stand off,

What a bewitching gift of the holy spirit called love!

– 

Love itself has enslaved me in you,

It has made a big mountain of void brain in me like a ewe,

It has completely locked me up in prisons of no return graciously,

In the utmost good faith of maintaining it a great deal peacefully!

– 

I thought I was making it real when,

I decided to approached you with my all energy full of vivacity,

Yet it was full of betrayals like the play ‘betrayal in the city’,

What a grief!

– 

You were such a beautifully crafted creature that attracted me like a magnet,

And it’s that belle nature that is still making me cling and lean on you in the net,

Though you were pricking me off your dress that I am attached to like a Bidens pilosa

Call it blackjack if you like!

 – 

All was awesome, to be frank with you,

But somewhere something went amiss,

The something that I thought you would notice in my bizarre mind,

That something is eating me up gradually,

Guilty conscience of love I suppose dearly!

 –

And if you care,

You’re the only solution,

To settle down my profound silence just in a millisecond;

 –

For God’s sake,

I need peace with myself,

Through yourself;

And cease to be a fugitive of love anymore in my life!

 – 

It’s even written in the Holy book,

That man should love their wives even if they are crook,

This fascinated me and that’s why I am struggling to make it real, life-life,

But you keep dragging me back however viscous I have become!

– 

How is it supposed to be then?

Tell me so that I can do according to your will to get out of this cage

That is hosting me;

– 

Where I am robbed of my rights and obligations

To soothe and care for you,

– 

Where the only rewards I get from you is insults and irresponsible acts

In exchange to the words of wisdom I speak into your life,

 –

What can I do to set free my perturbed soul in the name of love? So grieved;

Since you are ashamed of me in front of your friends,

Yet I could not let you go because the same machine is intact

 –

Since I am the second or third option after you have given off the first priority to your better souls,

Yet I could not let you go because the same machine is intact

– 

Since you come to my hood with the blanketed love to tear my heart into pieces with your damn photos in your phone with your other ‘monsters’,

Yet I could not let you go because the same machine is intact

 –

And that’s why you left me I know it squarely;

To beck and call upon you;

Because I tried to fix you;

– 

And become a better master in relationships,

Rather than being a mere and cruel charlatan,

But you wanted it not,

Am dubbed!

 –

It has always been my passion

And dream to drive you to the greener hills faraway

Behind the city wall;

 –

But you’re reluctant my dear,

Thinking that you’re already in paradise,

Meanwhile you’re no innocent of the devil’s angel glory;

Like that mad driver of soldier’s lorry!

– 

Perhaps, father God has a reason for everything,

And it might be my fate that;

If I ask of your hand you hearken not unto me,

If I correct your wrongs deeds, you shout at me,

 – 

If I humble myself and clothe my nature in me to give you peace, you can’t comprehend,

If I accept to carry the cross of our daily problems, you think that that is everything,

Leaving me to mourn myself cursing the day my mother brought me forth unto this earth!

– 

I am loaded over myself;

It is no complain,

Its justice,

That I need,

– 

Justice in love, because

It might not be fair unto me and you if;

I called and you picked not my phone call,

I go by myself to your home and you leave me at the gate stranded a person

Who by bad luck fall into a sea and know not how to swim!

– 

Am I the one who created love in the first place?

Am I the slave of love?

To keep chasing after it even if unnecessary,

Yet you seem not to understand,

– 

You made me an agenda of ill talk amongst your comrades,

And you seem not to know the sleepless nights

I undergo, thinking

About your welfare that

Revolves around your entity!

– 

Yet your friends have dissolved you,

Because you’re less reactive,

And tend to be the ones making the subjects of your life,

Driving it with a full force to their own destiny of self-satisfaction!

– 

You were so blind to see sense in my address,

But I believe one day,

As history has it,

In the long journey across the Saharan desert,

– 

Before you cross that bridge of success to

Your matrimonial home,

My pleas will be remembered,

And you know, somehow, that what comes round also go round

– 

I am the victim of love now,

And you will be the victim of hatred come future

What a fugitive of love I had become!

– 

ADOL AKUEI, the poet, is a second year student pursuing Bachelor of Science in nursing at Moi University, Eldoret, Kenya. He is the current secretary general of the Moi University South Sudanese Students Association (MUSSSA).He was the former vice chairman of the greater Bor South Sudanese Association in Bungoma, Kenya. You can reach out unto him through the email: adolakuei@gmail.com

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