#Mamarasakit: Marriage is not a business contract but rather a loving partnership between two consenting adults

By Betty Yom Mageer, Nairobi, Kenya

Sunday, August 02, 2020 (PW) — High dowries in marriages in South Sudan are a great burden to our young men in South Sudan. they bride price is a heavy burden and challenge to many gentlemen across our entire country. We need to come up with an urgent solution to this marriage crisis and growing social problem in our various societies in South Sudan. 

Marriages in South Sudan are among the most expensive marriages in the World. Bride price is a huge challenge to many young men. The more value a girl is; the more money or dowries a man has to pay for her. Bride price is related to a man’s status. 

When a man does not find wife, his value and standing in society goes down. When bride price inflation happens, young men will not be able to afford marriage and it is not good totally.Without an income, young men are not worth anything and cannot marry girls of their dreams and that is very unfortunate in our country. 

Additionally, in South Sudan, male and female youth must marry to be recognized as adults; however, male youth are under severe pressure to meet escalating dowry costs. Widespread economic dependence on dowry and the objectification of women often leave female youth with limited control over their lives. 

The desire by the parents to profit when their daughters marry contributes to rising dowry prices in South Sudan. moreover, South Sudan has one of the world’s youngest populations. Nearly all South Sudanese youth are profoundly undereducated and underemployed, which deeply affects their abilities to achieve financial capabilities and cattle that can enable them to marry girls of their choices. 

The increasing inability of male youth to meet rising dowry demands is a great challenge and stress to many young men across South Sudan. they male youth are unable to meet these demands and as a result many male youths enlist in militias, join cattle raids, or seek wives from different ethnic groups or nations. 

Also, the skyrocketing dowry demands have negatively and alarmingly affected female youth as well. They are routinely viewed as property that can generate family wealth. There are many challenges that face South Sudan youth such as excess demand on government jobs, widespread reports of nepotism and tribalism in government’s and organizations’ hiring practices, and cultural restrictions against many types of work.

Moreover, a general lack of entrepreneurial opportunities are fueling an exceptionally challenging youth employment situation that also affect their capabilities to marry girls of their desires in South Sudan. Additionally, the South Sudanese youth view their government as the primary source of education, jobs and hope. 

The government of South Sudan does not appear poised to provide substantial support to important youth priorities related to dowry, employment, education and training. The government of South Sudan and its international development partners need to proactively address important youth priorities. 

They should find better ways to cap dowry demands, protect female youth, protect male youth and support orphan youth in addition to expanding quality education, job training, employment opportunities and other significant issues affecting both our female and male youth in South Sudan. 

furthermore, in today, South Sudan of reduced capital and limited opportunities for economic advancement, the reliance of many South Sudanese parents on their daughters’ dowries seems to have escalated. There is a strong desire to have more children particularly girls, as more girls promise more riches in the futurein many families. 

Additionally, business opportunities and employment of youth can significantly increase prospects for financial and cattle gains. Although placing of high economic value on daughters in South Sudan is not new, the current situation has created a frightening series of realities for female youth. Widespread economic dependence on dowry and the objectification of women often leave female youth with limited control over their lives. 

High dowries are increasing stress and depression among South Sudan young gentlemen and it is very bad to subject them to such a hardship in our country. The dowries’ problems and stresses that young people face in South Sudan are best demonstrated by one of the South Sudanese writer, Maker Mabor Marial’s statements:

“Last year, my childhood friend accidentally killed his sister because she was impregnated by a man who did not give him 100 or more cows in dowry. Thus, he tortured her and apparently kicked her in the stomach. The baby died in the womb as a result and subsequently the mother died too despite enormous attempts by the doctors at Mapourdit Hospital to save her. It was a sad story I ever heard! My friend is still a free man after he had murdered his own sister!”

And he also added,

“Recently, a friend of mine told me in Rumbek that his former brother-in-law is suing him over the cows he had received as dowry after his sister died last year while delivering the baby. For this reason, I believe that marriage in Southern Sudan is not about love but it’s all about property. Men divorce their wives after they have died! But, women on the other hand aren’t allowed to divorce their dead husbands; they are inherited by brothers or relatives instead!”.

Finally, as you can see from the above heartbreaking examples about the hardships associating with dowries and cows in South Sudan, we now need to come up with an excellent way to do things socially and economically in South Sudan. we need to consider our young people and tell them that it is okay for them to get marry with or without dowries in South Sudan. 

A young man with at least twenty cows and downward should be allow to get marry in South Sudan. If he has nothing completely but capable to take good care of his wife and family, then he should be permitted to get marry and later on when he’s well off, he can sort out dowry’s arrangement with the girl’s family. 

Marriage is not a business contract but a love’s agreement between two persons and this message need to be preach to South Sudanese people very well. There is no man in the whole world and in South Sudan who cannot succeed if he works hard in life. I hope this message will find a space in your heart to agree with it. 

The author, Betty Yom Mageer, is a women’s rights activist and can be reached via her email address: bettyyom2009@gmail.com

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