Let women choose who they want to date instead of being chosen by who they don’t.
9 min readThe “Know Your Type” theory with “Not My Type” strategy and “You Are Not Just My Type” approach among intellectual women: Let women choose who they want to date instead of being chosen by who they don’t.
By Amer Mayen Dhieu, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Turn the table the other way. Let women choose who to be in relationship with, instead of being chosen by the last men they want to date. With the emerging of intellectuality among South Sudanese young women, South Sudanese men are pushing themselves too hard to be in relationship with women of their choices. Apparently, things are going different on women side. Most young women especially the intellectual ones have developed a sense of “know your type” however the divine policy is not doing them any favour. As clever as any men can be, any type of men can apply to these women. No matter how hard intellectual women convince them without telling them their real approach (you are not just my type) some men try effortlessly to win approval. For goodness sake! Only if men knows how painful this can be.
There are times intellectual women struggle to reject the “not my type” men in a more respectful and mature way by using constructive approach to convince them. Some women will construct million of reasons to let these men leave them alone and at peace but most men brings on more powerful and tougher reasons to why they think these girls are the wanted one. Some women will give them a chance with hope that they will go away when they realised girls’ lack of interest on their way. Apparently the tougher the “not my type” men can be when they finally got the entry and the dumber the “intellectual cinderella” can be when that beautiful spring of love words fall over her. Mistakably on this level, most women can be trapped on love-net and the “know your type” policy will fragilely die slowly.
On the other hand, there are some strong headed/hearted intellectual women who obviously stand their ground. Occasionally, these women goes under the same hard won procedures from the “not my type” men to the point they nearly or sometimes added the almighty “F word” to “you are not just my type” approach in order to make the die hard men go on their way. You may wonder how “F word” can fit in love sentence; well here is what I used when I was nineteen years of age: “seriously you should fucking leave me alone coz you’re not just the fucking type of man I can dated”. Well as everyone else can remember what it was like to be a teenager having a mature man you are not interested, pushing you so hard to be in relationship. Your teenage mind will sensed it as the hardest hell you have ever been in.
Indifferent, for the intellectual and more mature women, the atmosphere is way identical, here you got your educational side telling you to be logical, on other side you got your cultural instinct reminding you about what is culturally appropriate and what is not. The heavy load of maturity sit just over your neck and the sense of dignity on your shoulder. The truth will hurt to the point you will just be sitting idly not knowing what else you can say to the “not my type” men because you know “he is not your type” but you don’t want to used the “you are not just my type approach”, the “F Words” or you are trying not to offend them.
What men need to know is that most girls especially the intellectual ones say no to them for their own safety. I mean men safety. Intellectual girls have their own taste of what they are looking for in a man unlike their ordinary fellow women. Some men get panic and confused when some of these women tells them that they are not interested in love. The face that the “not my type men” make when they tell them that they don’t believe in love or they are not interested in love is strange and somewhat weird. Well the truth is that these women are telling their other side of story. Not just that they don’t believe in love but that love is not the only bread you can attract them.
Knowing that you can get love from any masculine type even with that of a dull or mentally disordered person, there are some few tips you can used to assess yourself before you took a step to ask them in favour of any for of relationship. First tip is:
To get to know yourself and your capacity.
Knowing yourself can created a bond that will forever help hold your relationship tight and long last. Remember intellectual women don’t just want to date anyone but someone “with whom they can perhaps hypothesise an alternate world that differs from theirs in one key aspect and then pose questions to each other, Someone who always makes them feel alive, keeps them on their toes, and intellectually stimulates them”. For instant, these men are well alive on the other side of the world but hardly show up at their door. The “know your type” policy keep ringing and always keep intellectual women inform about the present of these men but with dilemma to whether they will show up or not. You wont be surprise to learnt that the “not my type” men are the one that always want to know their number, their address, name and their hobbies but truthfully, they have no clue of what these women really are and what challenges they pose to those who date them when they are not their type. It is very important to know what character you are and what character you are falling in love with.
She will not and forever be a yes women
“An intelligent woman will always have her own opinions and beliefs. She will not nod and agree with everything you say. If she dislikes something, she will say it to your face. She is someone with high levels of intelligence and confidence, and hence, extremely hard to please”
You wouldn’t imagine waking up every morning with the story of what happen with president Kiir, how well he is doing and how badly you want him to be the president of the Republic of South Sudan without being ask to why you think so and what make him a good leader in your perspectives? Intellectual women always have opinion on almost everything you say and you must always be willing to listen to her side of view and contend with some thoughts of maturity and intelligence. Always remember you are debating with inform women. For not my type men, self-check is important. Are you truly their type? will you give an answer or your opinion when you are ask without prejudice?
Always remind yourself not to be cocky or indecisive
“Intelligent women do not like indecisive men”
In most occasion you will notify some men acting like real actors of Hollywood. Some took showy personalities as easy way to capture women attention. Most intellectual women don’t buy this attitudes rather a man that can “display confidence, sound intelligent, be assertive and seem like a man who is calm and composed” None other than this way will intellectual women know how good you are to her and real you are to your ones self.
Willingness to change.
Notably in modern society, the word “busy” as become a song on everyone lips. Well, not bad at all, this is a sign that our society is moving forward and that everybody is becoming a breadwinner of their own. This is one thing intellectual women have in common. “Intelligent women are extremely driven and ambitious, they are mostly workaholics, with their own work schedule, deadlines etc, and hence, if you want to date her, you would have to work around her schedule” Most men find it difficult to keep in touch with intellectual women, most of all in community places, meeting or other social gathering. You might find some of these girls complaining of how long community meetings do take and how she lack interest in them. Well, this cannot be taken as positive excuse because we are they community and without us there is no community. Intellectual women are more of themselves and their environment or surroundings. If you are dating them you must be willing to encourage them to attend community gathering but at least with a clear and rational reason to why you think she should go when she doesn’t want to. As you are willing to change, they are also willing. Another thing you might find hard are unplanned outings. Most men these days sees loves in women’s eyes when they are always attentive to their needs such as going out on weekend. Most intellectual women do have a lot of plans such as writing articles or book readings or assignments should they be still at school. If you just ring demanding to take her out, she might think of how disorganised you are rather how romantic you are.
Do not force your sense of humour.
Most men, when they first met a girl, they will try to shined as much light as they can possibly. Some can try to be talkative and funny. Of course no man want to be quite beside a women but for intellectual women, only fool people talk because they want to talk. “If you want to impress an intelligent woman, stay away from scatological humour: your sense of humour must be refined and classy. If you think you cannot pull it off, maybe you should stay away from cracking any jokes” Your intention to impress her might landed you on “not impress seat” unknowingly.
Do not show too much empty pride
Who really want to fail his girlfriend by saying sorry love, I have no idea of what federalism is when for sure you have no clue of what the hell that is. Most men do but it takes a real man to accept defeat then pretend to know everything with zero a percent of knowledge. Aways Remember intellectual women are not just called intellectuals. They are well-informed almost of everything they know and don’t know. Even still, if you talk of anything they have no clue, they will still identify your fake ideas and that will again landed you on stereotypical seat. For intellectual women you just “don’t say, ‘Yes, of course I know all about experimental physics,’ and then sit there like an imbecile when she talks about the Schrödinger’s thought experiment involving a cat. Be honest about what you do and do not know”.
Note: “Remember, intelligent women are not aliens. They aren’t going to gobble you up if you fail to match up to their expectations. So don’t be scared or intimidated by them. Don’t get overawed by their intelligence and suddenly become tongue-tied. Be yourself. As long as you’re someone with common sense and an ability to think and function as a human being, you’ll be fine. If it doesn’t work the first time, try again. And if you find yourself failing miserably, you can always return to the mind-numbing, yet comforting world of smoulderingly hot but incredibly ordinary women” By Kailash Srinivasan
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