WHY CHOOSE A MAN FOR YOUR DAUGHTER?
5 min readAtem’sijin, Juba, South Sudan
March 8, 2016 (SSB) —- There are some weird things done by women in the name of protecting their daughters’ future after realizing that she was deceived and conceived. They call it investigation whereby the girl is asked to tell exactly who is responsible for that pregnancy and how capable is he financially! If it is found out that he is a lousy man who failed to meet their expectations, they will put him aside and ask her about other boyfriends she has and their financial status.
After finding two or three capable guys they will start sorting out by their potentials and most importantly who slept with her among the three, it doesn’t matter when. When a lady reiterated that she slept with the only one who makes her pregnant she will receive insults from the group of expert mothers whose work is made difficult by the girl but if she admits that yes she did it with one of those potential guys then celebration will start immediately.
Now, the problem is that there is no sincerity and the girl is forced to carry the pregnancy to another man leaving the real man who is responsible and perhaps the one she loved. And that is why you always find that when a pregnant girl is being taken to her husband she is accompanied by group of expert women who knows the tricks. We cannot rule out that it doesn’t exist now maybe we can admit that it has reduced but has left a mark in the way our girls are behaving.
Most of our girls are dating three to four men at the same time in order to make the mothers’ work easier in case of anything, however the accommodation of many men always confuse the decision of the girl. Sometimes she ends up messing with all of them hence becoming a loose girl. Moreover, the rate of HIV/AIDS infection among the South Sudanese community is high! And we cannot deny the fact that the traditional way of engagement is one of the many factors why it is skyrocketing.
You cannot divide your heart into pieces, one piece for talking lovely words but no commitment to LOVER B, talking but reluctantly to LOVER C and pouring your heart, soul and body to LOVER A. In this case your heart is accommodating three lovers; A, B and C, and feelings are like temperature they keep changing. Sometime they rise and sometimes they drop hence you never know when your feelings will tell you something different about LOVER C!
That’s why it is good to stick to one man because your heart’s energy and feelings will be channeled to one direction and there will be no confusion in decision making. In addition to that girls are very sympathetic, if a man whom she doesn’t love tricks her with a suffering face and regrettable words chances of opening her legs due to sympathy are very high, not knowing that sympathy should not cross the body boundaries.
Most of our girls nowadays are not doing the right thing; I have refused to call it prostitution because of a reason I will tell you in my next article. It is advisable in many cultures within South Sudan for a girl to date more than five girls. Now the problem is when did this culture start?
Does civilization in twenty first century encourage that? To answer such questions, there is a need to understand that our great grandmothers were leaving in a world different from ours, they were eating different foods in most cases natural foods with no chemicals, there were no channel O, African magic, MTV, BET, Pornographic movies and blah blah blah.
But in our beloved twenty first century, everything is pornographic! Starting from the foods we eat, movies we watch and the worst person killing our young generation is Konshen; the Jamaican pornographic musician who force girls to spread their legs to his beats and vagarious songs.
Now do you think the tradition that was favoring our grandmothers and grandfathers will also favor us? It was good at their time but not in our time when a girl of seven years can tell you what sex means. Back in the days women value their bodies like gold, unlike now when women are even selling their bodies to earn a living.
Last but not least is a piece of advice to the mothers, instead of choosing an innocent man to take care of someone’s product why can’t you choose a man to sleep with your daughter! She has already made a choice by sleeping with him hence she should follow her heart.
Because when you force her to marry a rich man against her choice of a poor man she might not stay in that marriage because it was not her choice but yours!
Atem’sijin……………………
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